25 Years Ago...

1986.

It was the year Halley's comet returned.

Kevin & Katharine got hitched.

Pixar opened its doors.

Lady Gaga and Lindsay Lohan were born. 

Ronald Reagan was "the man we picked (man we picked). He says he has inflation licked ('flation licked)."

It was the year of Hands Across America...

...and Hands Across Bill's U.M.

In sports, something happened to Bill Buckner of the Boston Red Sox that many would rather forget.

At the movies, Mr. Sulu said, "San Francisco. I was born there" in Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home.

And we, the Lemmings, looked like this.

1986 marked our fourth trip to Williamstown for the Octet Reunion Concert, and I'll admit we were feeling pretty cocky. We'd debuted in '83 with our first group arrangement, "Love Potion No. 9" (aka Poesh), which killed and was immediately adopted into the Octet folio. The next year we crushed with brand new Lem-tunes "Cooler In The Shade," "I Won't Stand In Your Way," and "Buzz Buzz Buzz," as well as the Huey Lewis version of "It's Alright." 1985 was the year of "My Girl" and "Under The Boardwalk," as well as the high-degree-of-difficulty "Hodja." So, yeah, we were feeling good, ready to crush and kill again.  I mean look at that picture above! No, really. Look at it.



L-E-M-M-I-N-G-S spells Lemmings (1986)

But, like Icarus and his wax wings (shout out to my brother, Kurt), we flew too close to the sun and singed our tender under-noodles. At least, that's the way I remembered 1986 until I saw the tape I have for you today. My memory was of not quite connecting, being a little tentative, choosing the wrong songs... a bit of a misstep. But what I see is the opposite. "Naturally" and "Mint Julep" are both solid as very small rocks, and "She's Not There" is one of the classic performances in all of Lem-dom. 



Flynt's Stairs ('86)

So, what was I thinking? Clearly I must be leaving something out. And I am. The encore, "Happy Loving Couples." It was, how you say, OUT THERE! A dense, epic mash-up of baroque silliness that left the audience (and us) slightly stunned. Charlie and Chuck gave it their best, God bless 'em, but as Salieri said to Mozart in Amadeus, there were just "too many notes."

That's what must have put the asterisk on that year for me. That and the fact that we actually dared to perform a snippet of "Surfin' Messiah" between songs 2 and 3. ("Hello, Icarus, is your nether region getting crispy yet?") But the other three songs were all direct-hit crowd-pleasers and now seem totally crush-worthy in the forgiving fullness of time.

Enough toting. Here are our 3 songs minus encore from November 1, 1986. (I'll save "Happy Loving Couples" for another day.) The tape is in terrible shape, but that just adds to the "mist of time" quality. Enjoy.

POLL RESULTS: It's not even close!!! Orgo-Man is our favorite side character by a country mile. In fact, he dominates (Hey-o!)

He wins hands down (Wha-hut?)

It's a... (wait for it)... blow out! 

This week, in honor of "Surfin' Messiah," what song snippet or comedy bit should have stayed in the rehearsal room? It's too late to take them back, but you can still show your disapproval by voting.

Cease all audible emissions.

She Almost Saw His Whasker!

This man is a tote.

His name is Alec Clement. He's 30 years older than the oldest Lemming (which is Wayne, by the way, as penultimate geezer Mike Battey likes to point out). And he is one of us. He laughs at the same jokes, totes over vocal music like we do, has the blendy-blend singing voice, and shares the same style of unrelenting self-deprecation that makes women hot for us. (...or, more accurately, annoyed at us.)

The spotlight is on Al this week, not because of some recent accomplishment or embarrassment -- those are weekly occurrences for Al -- but because I found an old video of us singing together and I wanted to play it. So I asked the Lemmings to shoot me a few words about our brother from another generation to help set things up, and here is what spewed forth. (The video follows.)

From Paul:

I think it must have been my first Octet Alumni Concert in 1981. I was none too happy. Damn it, why did I have to graduate and go to law school? Why couldn't I just keep singing with the Octet rather than transition to the Alumni Octet where I didn't know the music or the people? So much unfairness of things. But then we began to rehearse George & Ira's "Love Walked In," and this glorious angelic solo voice wafted out over the Chapin Hall stage -- "That love said hello, though not a word was spoken" -- just one tantalizing line until the soloist came back in at the end with "When love walked in...with you." And, of course, it was Al. And from then on in, I knew this Octet Alumni thing was going to be good.

1987 "Small Hotel"

From Tey:

He is the nicest guy any of us has ever met. With the voice we'd all love to have and always with something good to say about everyone. We were SO lucky to meet him, and we continue to be lucky to count him as our good friend. And he is the only one of us who can make Schwanaye feel "young" so Wayne is thankful for that as well...

From Chuck:

Alec Clement? Well, first, he’s got the voice of an angel, he’s our first tenor dearest friend. He’s our link to an older generation, yet with the soul and good humor of our younger generation. He’s on email with us always, and he’s a role model husband to dear Carolyn. We aspire to be the kind and caring human being that he has always been, the gracious friend he’s always been, the source of humor and good spirit he’s always been, and the pure voice he continues to be! May he live long and prosper, because, well, he’s Al, he’s OUR Al. We love him.

From Bill:

Al self-deprecates like Lincoln- that’s what really makes him one of us- but he never dips into the Tetchy Pool and go after anyone else, even in fun. Al always compliments others, only self-nukes; but he gets it, the jokes, the off-color stuff and the innuendo. He’s got an incredible sense of himself, he’s not changing who he is just to hang out with us. I need to be half as cool as he is when I’m his age.

1989 "Blue Moon"

Well, guess what, Bill. We ARE his age. We met him 30 years ago and he's 30 years older than us, so we are now the age he was when we met him. And your wish has come true: We are half as cool as he is.

Now, the video. This is the first time we ever performed with Al as our lead. It's 1986, and like my joints or my ability to hold in a fart while laughing, the tape has deteriorated over time. It looks like in the movies when aliens are attacking Earth and all the TVs get wambly. Enjoy.

BONUS: Okay, this is funny. On the same tape as the above, there was footage from the night before of us sneak peeking the song at the Friday Cabaret. We must have convinced Al to do it at the last minute. Check it out. 

Before I wrap, I have to explain the blog title. A few weeks ago, I asked the May-born Lemmings, including Al, to share some exploits or memorable moments for a birthday quiz. Al sent this little ditty: "Parents partying in Sheffield, Ma. I had just showered and was naked on the john when one of the female guests walked in--looked at me and said "Don't get up"  Life's most embarrassing moment."

Like I said, he is one of us.

POLL RESULTS:

When it comes to soundbites, most of you prefer the battle cry, "Count me in!" Hey, at least it's positive. This week, what's your favorite side character in Lemmings mythology? Vote! Be counted in! Up on the right.

Ferme.

Cee Dubbaloe Elly Are

Here in the East, the temperature scraped 100 this past week, so I thought it was a good time to remind everyone that it's C-O-O-L-E-R, Cooler in the Shade.

cooler... in the shade.

This picture was sent to me a while back by Dan Ohnemus (Octet '04), and I remember being flattered that a Lemmings song had stuck in somebody's head to the degree that they'd actually take a picture like this. But then, "Cooler In The Shade" is a sticky song. 

It's also a Lemmings milestone. Prior to 1984, our repertoire consisted only of things we could steal and Bill's criminally-too-few Tom Lehrer gems. That was pretty much it. But then we heard Cooler, fell in love, and really wanted to sing it, so we-slash-I was forced to create an original arrangement. It was only my second one after "Won't Stand", which was more like a lift than an arrangement. So, Cooler was really the first time I-slash-we realized we didn't have to depend on the kindness of strangers for our music. 

Blanche DuBarbershop

But how did we find the song? It wasn't on a record. Not on the radio. Not available on the black market for a kidney. It came to us, not surprisingly, from the source of all things cool, Patron Saint of the Octet and the Lemmings, David A. Barnes. 

Jesus of cool

[That's one of my favorites pics from a photo shoot we did at the end of my senior year.] Dave ended up linking us to the man who wrote the song, Franklin Micare. Dave explains: "I first saw Franklin in 1975 at a bar called Brandy's on 84th between 2nd and 3rd. He was the most talented and entertaining person I had ever seen with my own eyes. At that time, all I really wanted was to play the harmonica well enough to play with him. It reached a point where I got to play one song, "Bring It On Home To Me," from my table.

The Three Deuces

My table then got closer and closer to the stage. 
I think I finally played onstage with him at the Back Fence. He literally taught me how to be a professional musician. I don't  remember when he wrote "Cooler in the Shade"... early 80's... I guess I dragged Slope down to see him and he dug the tune and the rest is history!"

So, Charlie (aka Slope) in turn drags some of us to these shows, we become semi-regulars, we do the arrangement, it becomes a "Lemmings hit", and we record it in 1986 at Excalibur Studios with an engineer named Art Polhemus (you can listen to it here).... 


The Polhemus Tapes


And then, in 1989, we get the chance to sing at the Guggenheim Museum, and we take that opportunity to connect the circle of love by inviting David and Franklin to perform Cooler with us. Yes, there's video.  Here it is.

Great exit, right? Warren Hunke was in the audience that night and said afterwards something like, "Barnes and Micare emerged from the audience as if from a San Francisco fog, like something from a Raymond Chandler novel." 

In other words, they're cooler.

POLL RESULTS: Like "fire" in a crowded theater, we enjoy yelling just about any 1-word song title on the planet. Pants, Poesh, Mung... we don't care. This week: what's your favorite soundbite from Lemmings lore?  If you've read this far, you might as well vote. Upper right.


Cease speaking. (And thank you, Schwa, for mocking up that picture of Blanche DuBois with Barbershop book.  ..."A Streetcar Named Sincere".)

Up For A Quickie?

Hey, guys. I'm super busy this week and don't have time to do a full-blown blog. So, to tide you over until next week, here's a picture of Lyman attacking a birdhouse...

Go, Lyman, go. And here's Paul singing an excellent song...

Sing, Paul, sing. Okay, see you next time.

Oh, wait... POLL RESULTS. No surprises here. Our favorite place to eat as Lemmings is Shaps.
This week: Favorite 1-word song nickname to shout out loud. (Pants, Poesh, Buzz, Cooler, or Mung).
Shut and vote.
Actually, vote then shut.

Lemmings '88: Together Again

By popular demand... okay, by a couple of requests... maybe one... this week's blog is a "re-broadcast" of LEMMINGS '88: A VIDEO DOCUMENTARY.

Bits and pieces of this magnum crappus have been floating around on the internet, but now at last they can all be found in one place, here, in the Cliff Notes archives, for future scholars to find and ignore.





All 8 parts are below. (Too bad it’s not 8 ½*)  I've often thought about re-editing it to make it tighter, but hey it was 1988. Life was slower back then. And judging by the picture quality, life was also washed out and blurry with iffy sound quality.

On that note, I entreat you to enjoy.  

* obligatory reference to Bill’s UM.

The singing begins here...

Intermission.

As the 18th Century poet William Collins once wrote “Whether in the form of a sprawling epic or a pointed ballad, the story is our most ancient method of making sense out of experience and of preserving the past.” 

Yes, William, and as your 21st Century counterparts might say,TLDW (Too Long; Didn't Watch).

Either way, Will "Carl" Hahn said it best when he said "There you have it. Or at least some of us are having it." 
Wuh, period, hoo, period.

POLL RESULTS: Last week's results made me laugh out loud. According to your votes, we like to sing everywhere.  Or put another way, we can't make up our mind where we like to sing which is exactly how we got our name! This week: what's your favorite Lemmings eatery? Vote or be shutted.

Hot Summer Shtupping

August vacation. Picture it: You're away with the family. It's day 3, 4, 5... You're feeling unplugged, relaxed, human again. You send the kids out for ice cream or mini-golf or a long hike in the abandoned mine shaft, And then you and your mate...um, get busy? Knock boots? Rock the casbah? Vulcanize the whoopee stick in the ham wallet? Marinate the nether rod in the squish mitten?

Yes - you do the horizontal mambo. And that, my loyal readers, is how 4 Lemmings and 1 Lem-Friend were born this very week, exactly 9 months after August. Chico (5/23), Mark (5/25), Paul, (5/27), Al (5/27), and Chuck (5/29). Your parents all had summertime weenie roasts. Battey and Wendy apparently did, too, because Jackson's birthday is also this week! TMI?

So in honor of all this ancestral humping, I give you three "gifts". The first is a quiz. See if you can match each birthday boy to his accomplishments and/or exploits. 2 per celebrant. Again, the answers will be Chico, Mark, Paul, Al, or Chuck.

1) Which one had a portrait of his "father" hanging in the bar at the Williams Inn?

2) Which one is known for loving "fine brandy"?

3) Which one sang a duet with Harry Chapin at Williams?
4) Which one was nicknamed "the semi colon" after a medical procedure?
5) Which one does a thing known as the "weedis face"?
6) Which one was caught naked on the john by his parents' party guest who calmly said "That's okay. Don't get up"?
7) Which one used to fax pornographic cartoons to Chuck at the Pentagon?
8) Which one managed a David's Cookies, waited tables at a Mexican restaurant, temped for a women's plus size store, sold barge tours in wine country for a French travel agent, and sold vacuum cleaners door to door?
9 Which one wore a spiked dog collar onstage at Williams and secretly liked it?
10) Which one most often asks the question: "Can I ask a question"?

I will post the answers in the comments section below.

Now, what song to play? Well, it wasn't easy, but I found a video with all 5 honorees in it. Mark, Chuck, and Paul are singing; Chico's standing behind (wha-hut?); and I'm pretty sure Al is lurking somewhere close by. I started with a summer theme today, but now we're switching back to the current season: Spring. The solo, appropriately, goes to the birthday boy who holds the Lemmings record for "Most Solos Killed at the Last Minute". Not this time. Here's Chuck with "It Might As Well Be Spring".

Creamy. Finally, this week in 1997 we all got together at Chico's house on the Cape to rehearse for Wayne and Kate's wedding. In the middle of the usual mayhem, we sorta kinda sang happy birthday to this same birthday brigade. A tape was rolling. Here it is: the LEMMINGS BIRTHDAY MEDLEY.

Annnnnnnnnnd... Tup.

Istanblog (Not Blogstantinople)

Whenever I'm asked (in the imaginary talk show in my head) to name my favorite Lemmings song, I always say Istanbul (Not Constantinople).

It’s certainly the most epic. It has those internal song references; there's actual choreography instead of our usual timid woodland swaying; and, against all logic, we rap. Definitely had the potential to be our biggest fart bomb ever. Risk factor 10. But somehow we pulled it off.

It all started as a dare. Charlie, who had gotten to know the 2 Johns from They Might Be Giants, said to me in passing one day “we should do Istanbul". I usually ignored those kinds of blurtings, assuming Mr. Contrary would soon be telling me the opposite. But this time he didn't. Instead, his suggestion bore into my brain like that intergalactic earworm in Wrath of Khan until I realized we had to do it.

"Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan"!!!

We started working on it in the Fall of 1990 for the Octet's 50th Anniversary concert. That's over 20 years ago (hey, Math major!), so I don't remember too many details, but here's what I do recall. [*Feel free to add your own recollections in the comments section below.]

1) Rehearsing the choreography in Wayne’s parents’ backyard on a weirdly warm November afternoon.  Sea grass!!!

2) Having the largest contingent of Lemmings ever, like the over-populating rodents we are, including soon-to-be-Lems Bruce, Chico, and Tuna.

3) Bill's brilliant performance as soloist and ringmaster, a cross between Tom Lehrer and Groucho (the non-bag-walking kind)

4) Chico’s “HYAH” shout scaring the shit out of me every single goddam time.

5) Jack Hornor coming out to say "30" as a call-back to Wuntafordy which we'd done 3 songs earlier. I'm pretty sure it's the biggest in-song laugh we ever got.

6) That final chord! We were supposed to resolve to a jazzy pop chord (ala "little girrrrrl"), but we never made it. Instead, we landed on some twisted train wreck with massive casualties and blood spurting and chickens flying. Paul accurately described it in the Shutup and Sing liner notes as a "benchmark musical nadir for the ages".

7) And finally, I remember Warren being so discombobulated by our awesomeness that he completely forgot to introduce then-President Francis Oakley who was supposed to say a few words about the Octet after us. We certainly ruffled his ice.

And so, here it is. Not much to look at after all that. The picture quality is poor; the sound quality has that Chapin murk. But I dunno. There's something fun happening here.

Now, you would think a song like that would have become a staple of our shows, but you'd be wrong. As far as I recall we only ever did it one more time, 2 years later at the Westside Arts Theater in NYC with the 1992 Williams Octet and Al Clement. And guess what? I have that on videotape, too.

And there you have it. Fully dehydrated. Been a long time gone, Constantinople.