Top 10 Brushes With Greatness

The eternal question within the Lemmings back in the day (besides "what really happened in that hot tub"), was always what kind of group did we want to be? Were we a bunch of friends who sang, or a group of singers who happened to be friends? Professional amateurs or delusional wannabes?

The answer, which I can see more clearly now thanks to the benefit of time and my old-man progressive lenses, is that we were both. The Lemmings was mostly just a fun hang, the singing man's version of poker night, but we did occasionally flirt with professionalism. And those flirtations led to some excellent rubbing, groping, fondling, you could even say some frottage with greatness.

Here, then, in no particular order, but numbered to create the illusion of meaning (not unlike the group itself) are our...
TOP TEN BRUSHES WITH GREATNESS*
(*includes second-hand brushes, near-misses, and snubs from greatness, as well.)

1) Joe's Apartment
Yes, we sang in a movie! Hello?!

A bunch of us, along with the guys from Rockapella, were the singing cockroaches in Joe's Apartment, a movie that was "grossly misunderstood" in America (meaning it bombed), but won an award in France for "Favorite Children's Movie of 1996." (By the way, those children are now 25 and in therapy.)

2) Shutup and Sing (aka The Wedding Weekend)

We're immortalized! As discussed in a previous blog entry ("Tales of a Swedish Supermodel"), we were the inspiration and the stunt-voices for the madcap group of self-flagellating friends at the heart of this movie. One of us (Bruce) wrote it and directed it, so we kind of had an inside track.

3) Sesame Street
Not only did we get to rub shoulders with Jim Henson and Kermit, but through the miracle of modern audio tape, we "sang" with James Earl Jones.

Our dear friend and Sesame Street director Jon Stone hooked us up for this one. Thanks, Jon. Yup, yup, yupp.

4) The New York Yankees

We sang the National Anthem at Yankee Stadium back in 1979. (I still have the grounds crew uniform I stole to prove it). The is pre-Lemmings, of course, but I think the experience should be grandfathered in.

And speaking of grandfathers, who's going to be the first Lemming to become a grandfather? Now, that's a good poll question. Vote above on the right.

We wrote "Shut Down"

5) The Beach Boys

Chuck got us this gig at the Wesray Christmas party. We were billed as the musical entertainment for the night, but we were really a decoy act to distract the audience from the surprise act, the Beach Boys. While warming up in a little side room before the show, we looked up to find the Beach Boys standing in the doorway listening to us. They came into the room and we boldly started singing the one BB song we sort of knew, "Their Hearts Were Full of Spring." I'll never forget it; they joined our circle, put their arms around our shoulders in a huddle formation, leaned in, and told us they would sue us within an inch of our lives if we ev... no, they sang it with us! Amazing. That really WAS a brush with greatness. We sang with the mofo Beach Boys, yo!

6) Just Say Julie

Charlie put his career (such that it was) on the line and hired us to write and sing the theme song to MTV's "Just Say Julie." (covered in "I Want My Lem-TV!") I remember there was talk of the open being nominated for a Daytime Emmy or a Cable Ace Award or something, but it turned out that all the nominees were so lame that year, they decided to dump the category. Yeay, us!

7) Martha Quinn & Peter Tork

The memory is hazy. I think we sang the Star Spangled Banner before an MTV softball game in Central Park, and Martha the VJ and Peter the Monkee were there. I remember seeing a picture or maybe even video of this once. Does anybody have it buried in their drawer of Helde Material?

8) Street Sightings

These aren't exactly brushes with greatness - more like brush-offs - but we did bump into a few celebs during our street singing years, notably Dustin Hoffman, Eddie Albert, Steve Martin, and Jerry Lewis.

Dustbert Lewtin

Wayne recalls: "Jerry Lewis blew by us while we were singing in the lobby of 810 Seventh Avenue. All I remember was that he was wearing a cape and carrying a purse dog. Eddie Albert and Steve Martin walked by us on the street (on different occasions) while we were singing, but neither of them stopped. Dustin Hoffman stopped to listen to us and his kid put money in our hat." 

Charlie adds, "I remember chasing after Dustin and telling him everyone said I looked like him and his wife said 'yes. It's your nose.'"

9) Blown off by David Letterman and Sting

As discussed in last month's entry, "Lemmings In Action," we wrote to Letterman and Sting and heard in return only the sound of our own failure echoing down the lonely corridors of our soul.

...or maybe we didn't have their addresses right.

10) Way-Off Broadway with Joy Behar
And finally, this one makes the cut because I just found the video in my box of shame. Was this another Charlie-procured gig? Joy Behar, now on "The View," hosted a short-lived talk show on Lifetime called "Way Off Broadway," and they hired us for one episode to sing some "We'll Be Right Back" bumpers. Check this out, and see if you can name Joy's two guests as well as her bandleader (with the guitar).

Well, that's enough for now. I could go on: there's still the Four Tops, Alice Tully Hall, Mario Joyner, the Moisture Quoyne... but I think you can see from the Top 10 that the next ten would be negligible grazings rather than full frontal brushings with greatness.

Until next time, shut yourselves. And vote, Grandpa, vote!