Lemmings '88: Together Again

By popular demand... okay, by a couple of requests... maybe one... this week's blog is a "re-broadcast" of LEMMINGS '88: A VIDEO DOCUMENTARY.

Bits and pieces of this magnum crappus have been floating around on the internet, but now at last they can all be found in one place, here, in the Cliff Notes archives, for future scholars to find and ignore.





All 8 parts are below. (Too bad it’s not 8 ½*)  I've often thought about re-editing it to make it tighter, but hey it was 1988. Life was slower back then. And judging by the picture quality, life was also washed out and blurry with iffy sound quality.

On that note, I entreat you to enjoy.  

* obligatory reference to Bill’s UM.

The singing begins here...

Intermission.

As the 18th Century poet William Collins once wrote “Whether in the form of a sprawling epic or a pointed ballad, the story is our most ancient method of making sense out of experience and of preserving the past.” 

Yes, William, and as your 21st Century counterparts might say,TLDW (Too Long; Didn't Watch).

Either way, Will "Carl" Hahn said it best when he said "There you have it. Or at least some of us are having it." 
Wuh, period, hoo, period.

POLL RESULTS: Last week's results made me laugh out loud. According to your votes, we like to sing everywhere.  Or put another way, we can't make up our mind where we like to sing which is exactly how we got our name! This week: what's your favorite Lemmings eatery? Vote or be shutted.

Hot Summer Shtupping

August vacation. Picture it: You're away with the family. It's day 3, 4, 5... You're feeling unplugged, relaxed, human again. You send the kids out for ice cream or mini-golf or a long hike in the abandoned mine shaft, And then you and your mate...um, get busy? Knock boots? Rock the casbah? Vulcanize the whoopee stick in the ham wallet? Marinate the nether rod in the squish mitten?

Yes - you do the horizontal mambo. And that, my loyal readers, is how 4 Lemmings and 1 Lem-Friend were born this very week, exactly 9 months after August. Chico (5/23), Mark (5/25), Paul, (5/27), Al (5/27), and Chuck (5/29). Your parents all had summertime weenie roasts. Battey and Wendy apparently did, too, because Jackson's birthday is also this week! TMI?

So in honor of all this ancestral humping, I give you three "gifts". The first is a quiz. See if you can match each birthday boy to his accomplishments and/or exploits. 2 per celebrant. Again, the answers will be Chico, Mark, Paul, Al, or Chuck.

1) Which one had a portrait of his "father" hanging in the bar at the Williams Inn?

2) Which one is known for loving "fine brandy"?

3) Which one sang a duet with Harry Chapin at Williams?
4) Which one was nicknamed "the semi colon" after a medical procedure?
5) Which one does a thing known as the "weedis face"?
6) Which one was caught naked on the john by his parents' party guest who calmly said "That's okay. Don't get up"?
7) Which one used to fax pornographic cartoons to Chuck at the Pentagon?
8) Which one managed a David's Cookies, waited tables at a Mexican restaurant, temped for a women's plus size store, sold barge tours in wine country for a French travel agent, and sold vacuum cleaners door to door?
9 Which one wore a spiked dog collar onstage at Williams and secretly liked it?
10) Which one most often asks the question: "Can I ask a question"?

I will post the answers in the comments section below.

Now, what song to play? Well, it wasn't easy, but I found a video with all 5 honorees in it. Mark, Chuck, and Paul are singing; Chico's standing behind (wha-hut?); and I'm pretty sure Al is lurking somewhere close by. I started with a summer theme today, but now we're switching back to the current season: Spring. The solo, appropriately, goes to the birthday boy who holds the Lemmings record for "Most Solos Killed at the Last Minute". Not this time. Here's Chuck with "It Might As Well Be Spring".

Creamy. Finally, this week in 1997 we all got together at Chico's house on the Cape to rehearse for Wayne and Kate's wedding. In the middle of the usual mayhem, we sorta kinda sang happy birthday to this same birthday brigade. A tape was rolling. Here it is: the LEMMINGS BIRTHDAY MEDLEY.

Annnnnnnnnnd... Tup.

Istanblog (Not Blogstantinople)

Whenever I'm asked (in the imaginary talk show in my head) to name my favorite Lemmings song, I always say Istanbul (Not Constantinople).

It’s certainly the most epic. It has those internal song references; there's actual choreography instead of our usual timid woodland swaying; and, against all logic, we rap. Definitely had the potential to be our biggest fart bomb ever. Risk factor 10. But somehow we pulled it off.

It all started as a dare. Charlie, who had gotten to know the 2 Johns from They Might Be Giants, said to me in passing one day “we should do Istanbul". I usually ignored those kinds of blurtings, assuming Mr. Contrary would soon be telling me the opposite. But this time he didn't. Instead, his suggestion bore into my brain like that intergalactic earworm in Wrath of Khan until I realized we had to do it.

"Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan"!!!

We started working on it in the Fall of 1990 for the Octet's 50th Anniversary concert. That's over 20 years ago (hey, Math major!), so I don't remember too many details, but here's what I do recall. [*Feel free to add your own recollections in the comments section below.]

1) Rehearsing the choreography in Wayne’s parents’ backyard on a weirdly warm November afternoon.  Sea grass!!!

2) Having the largest contingent of Lemmings ever, like the over-populating rodents we are, including soon-to-be-Lems Bruce, Chico, and Tuna.

3) Bill's brilliant performance as soloist and ringmaster, a cross between Tom Lehrer and Groucho (the non-bag-walking kind)

4) Chico’s “HYAH” shout scaring the shit out of me every single goddam time.

5) Jack Hornor coming out to say "30" as a call-back to Wuntafordy which we'd done 3 songs earlier. I'm pretty sure it's the biggest in-song laugh we ever got.

6) That final chord! We were supposed to resolve to a jazzy pop chord (ala "little girrrrrl"), but we never made it. Instead, we landed on some twisted train wreck with massive casualties and blood spurting and chickens flying. Paul accurately described it in the Shutup and Sing liner notes as a "benchmark musical nadir for the ages".

7) And finally, I remember Warren being so discombobulated by our awesomeness that he completely forgot to introduce then-President Francis Oakley who was supposed to say a few words about the Octet after us. We certainly ruffled his ice.

And so, here it is. Not much to look at after all that. The picture quality is poor; the sound quality has that Chapin murk. But I dunno. There's something fun happening here.

Now, you would think a song like that would have become a staple of our shows, but you'd be wrong. As far as I recall we only ever did it one more time, 2 years later at the Westside Arts Theater in NYC with the 1992 Williams Octet and Al Clement. And guess what? I have that on videotape, too.

And there you have it. Fully dehydrated. Been a long time gone, Constantinople.

Happy Schwa Blog

His name is Wayne Wilkins. We call him Schwa, Schweenis, Schwaneye, Schweenagog, Waugg, Wilkie Welts, Haldemann, Cosmo, and more. 

Schweeble Keitel

He is the oldest living Lemming, and yet he never seems to age. No matter what number we're careening towards, he always gets there first, protecting us from impact like a human shield with great hair. He is a husband, brother, son, colleague, baritone/ bass, best friend you could ever have, seriously... and today is his birthday.

In honor of his Schwa-ness, we offer 3 tributes. The first is an acrostic using one of our favorite Schwa-names, and which was written by all of the Lemmings in one big high buns of creativity. 

S is for Sucking plaster, which he does in his sleep.
C is for Circle of Wahhhhhhhkrrrrghhhhhhh, an exercise in sonic distortion. (*Click to hear)
H is for Hot, of which he is Too Darn.
W is for Witch Hazel, whom he channels when cackling.
E is for Ephlats, which we don't hold against him.
E is for Esophageal sphincter that traps his flatus.
N is for Notman, whom he lucked into.
I is for Indigo Girls, which we're pretty sure we'd find in his record collection.
S is for Shutup, which he should do now.

Next, a favorite Lemmings moment starring Wayne: the 1993 debut of "Messed Around". This song is chock-full of lyrics and the audience was chock-full of Wayne-iacs (a new word I just made up), so the Schwee was maybe a bit nervous. The opening is classic.

Finally, a dubious tradition. On his birthday every year, we like to re-circulate this audio tribute to Wayne's morph-able name. it's one take, improvised, with love, but it captures a certain Joie de Schwa. Click here for a SYMPHONY OF WAYNE.

So, Happy Birthday, Schwa! If any of your nicknames were longer, we could have included Coiffure du Schwaneye, RSAs, Oakley, Mocha & Cheeser, the sweet lips that harbour, and much much more. But there, now they're in.

Have a great day, my brother. We love you, you Tote.

For Our Next Number...

How's this for numerological totosity?

I graduated in 1981. Looking ahead, when the Williams Octet celebrates its 100th anniversary in 2040, I will be - yep - 81. The number of members in the rebooted Octet was 8 plus 1. Which equals 9. Which when squared is (hello) 81.

Another significant number in Lemmingsology is 40. There's our Sesame Street song "Wuntafordy (1-40)".  The original Octet was founded in '40. Kev did a lot of Lemmings arrangements from 40 River Road on Roosevelt Island. And get this: in Math terms, 40 is an "octagonal number".  Octagonal... Octet. And it's categorized as "semi-perfect" (describe anyone you know?)

Speaking of Wuntafordy, in my box of Lemmings droppings I discovered long-forgotten behind-the-scenes footage of us learning the song at Chez Tey in NY and then recording it at Nola Studio. Jon Stone is with us (Jon Stoooooone!) as is special guest tenor Tony Dowdy (aka Tonaii). I don't even remember shooting this stuff, but here it is. Check it out.

Meanwhile, have you seen what some industrious young animator has been doing with our song on YouTube? He took the music from Wuntafordy and is putting his own numbers to it. Gentlemen, we have our first stalker!

Poll results are in! And Istanbul noses out Roaches for the title of favorite choreography. This week, we revisit our favorite group discussion topic - what to wear. Vote above on the right. 

And then shut.