Istanblog (Not Blogstantinople)

Whenever I'm asked (in the imaginary talk show in my head) to name my favorite Lemmings song, I always say Istanbul (Not Constantinople).

It’s certainly the most epic. It has those internal song references; there's actual choreography instead of our usual timid woodland swaying; and, against all logic, we rap. Definitely had the potential to be our biggest fart bomb ever. Risk factor 10. But somehow we pulled it off.

It all started as a dare. Charlie, who had gotten to know the 2 Johns from They Might Be Giants, said to me in passing one day “we should do Istanbul". I usually ignored those kinds of blurtings, assuming Mr. Contrary would soon be telling me the opposite. But this time he didn't. Instead, his suggestion bore into my brain like that intergalactic earworm in Wrath of Khan until I realized we had to do it.

"Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan"!!!

We started working on it in the Fall of 1990 for the Octet's 50th Anniversary concert. That's over 20 years ago (hey, Math major!), so I don't remember too many details, but here's what I do recall. [*Feel free to add your own recollections in the comments section below.]

1) Rehearsing the choreography in Wayne’s parents’ backyard on a weirdly warm November afternoon.  Sea grass!!!

2) Having the largest contingent of Lemmings ever, like the over-populating rodents we are, including soon-to-be-Lems Bruce, Chico, and Tuna.

3) Bill's brilliant performance as soloist and ringmaster, a cross between Tom Lehrer and Groucho (the non-bag-walking kind)

4) Chico’s “HYAH” shout scaring the shit out of me every single goddam time.

5) Jack Hornor coming out to say "30" as a call-back to Wuntafordy which we'd done 3 songs earlier. I'm pretty sure it's the biggest in-song laugh we ever got.

6) That final chord! We were supposed to resolve to a jazzy pop chord (ala "little girrrrrl"), but we never made it. Instead, we landed on some twisted train wreck with massive casualties and blood spurting and chickens flying. Paul accurately described it in the Shutup and Sing liner notes as a "benchmark musical nadir for the ages".

7) And finally, I remember Warren being so discombobulated by our awesomeness that he completely forgot to introduce then-President Francis Oakley who was supposed to say a few words about the Octet after us. We certainly ruffled his ice.

And so, here it is. Not much to look at after all that. The picture quality is poor; the sound quality has that Chapin murk. But I dunno. There's something fun happening here.

Now, you would think a song like that would have become a staple of our shows, but you'd be wrong. As far as I recall we only ever did it one more time, 2 years later at the Westside Arts Theater in NYC with the 1992 Williams Octet and Al Clement. And guess what? I have that on videotape, too.

And there you have it. Fully dehydrated. Been a long time gone, Constantinople.